Friday, 10 May 2013

the end of practicum.

Hi guys!

I'm back! I know its been quite awhile since I last blogged but time hasn't really been a friend lately because of my practicum. I'm free! Today was my last day of practicum and I'm finally free! (okay not for long, I have to go back to school on Monday boohoo)

Anyways, while the memory is still fresh in my mind, I really want to take this time to blog about what I feel. I know this is not a personal blog and I don't record down personal events here, but its really nice to share with you guys my experience.

I'm a teacher.

I'm a full fledged teacher guys! I passed my practicum, alhamdulillah and today was my last day as a trainee teacher.

But the thing about practicum, or maybe its this school and its awesome students is that, I realise I'm not just a teacher. I'm an educator. I'm a mother (especially when they hurl vulgarities haiya kids nowadays). I'm a friend and the list will probably go on and on until the cows come home.

Every single day, I come into class fully equipped with my keynote slides on my ipad, stack of fresh worksheets I just photocopied and my iphone to control my slides. I teach for about an hour and in that hour, so many things happen. I answer questions. I scold students who are daydreaming or just being too noisy. I pose questions. I use every single ounce of my energy to make sure students at the back can hear me and I run my show. Every single lesson, I hope and pray that they get something out of it.

Sometimes I mark worksheets and tests and when the results are disappointing, I ask myself. What did I do wrong? Here's the thing about being a teacher, you always have to ask yourself, you always try to reflect how you can make a better lesson. How do I make this kids like the lesson? How do I make it interesting? Its not just about imparting the knowledge you have, its about doing it in a way that doesn't make it exhausting for you and the kids.

I don't believe in silent classrooms. I don't believe in my students being scared of me and just sitting still quietly while I talk in front. While I occasionally enjoy the peace and quiet, I cannot survive. My classes are filled with laughters and jokes and I truly believe that this is what makes classroom time, for the lack of a better word, magical.

Outside classroom time, I enjoy hanging out with my students. I watch them play soccer. I sit with them at the canteen. I talk to them a lot because I believe that once rapport is built, half the battle is won.

No words can describe how sad I feel right now having to leave my students. People tell me to draw a clear circle around myself and never let my students enter that circle, because I'm the teacher and they are the students. There must be a fine line drawn. Here's what I feel. I'm not a teacher without them so as long as there's respect, I am more than happy to have you in my circle.

To future practicum teachers,
Practicum is crazy. I don't mean normal crazy, it will push you beyond your limits. It will make you question your decision to become a teacher, so many freaking times. People may expect a lot from you and you feel upset when you cannot deliver. You will feel that everything you do is never enough. Your APT forms might not look so good. But here's the thing. YOUR students are the REAL APT forms. It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. We come as teachers to educate and our target audience are the students. Have that focus in mind so that when your students tell you "Cher, we love your lessons. Please stay. Please stay here and teach us." That is enough. At least, for me.

TO MY LOVELY STUDENTS (i know you're reading this!),
The hardest part of practicum is leaving you guys. I love all of you dearly! I will miss you very much. Its been a pleasure being your teacher and I am truly grateful for every single one of your notes and gifts (: Please study hard for your exams and make me proud! All the best!

Much love,
Miss Nadia

4 comments:

  1. Awww now I really know that you are a Teacher!! ^^ Personal posts once in a while is nice Nadya! I am 21 this year and still figuring out what I want to do in my life.. sadly but hmm reality is so tough. It was much easier back when we were all students, its only when we've grown up a little. I realized that I took things too much for granted and there's no point regretting it now. So if your students or anyone out there happen to be reading this comment! Goshh it's serious when adults tell you to study haha working life is no joke :/ and choose what you really want to do doesn't matter too much if its not a practical thing. (:

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  2. Oh and congrats on passing your practicum into a becoming a full fledged teacher!! I wish you all success and happiness insyallah! Teehee ^^

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  3. you scold students? its hard to imagine you scolding students because you always have this smile on your face that cannot be wiped off or something haha

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  4. Hey there Ms Nadya!omg i swear i miss you teaching in msl sigh :( You taught us not to give up and then you guided us.Your teachings pushed my grades up!After years of getting c5,i've finally gotten myself a B3.Wow i am truly blessed to have a kind and understading teacher,mother and sister like you.You don't know how much we miss you :( Come back soon my lovely teacher!I hope you're doing well in your current school.-3s3 Take care :') read the notes!xx

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